Although I Hate the Taste

You Are Cinnamon Flavored Gum

You are daring, active, and a little outrageous. You crave adventure and novelty. You like to mix things up. Your personality is extra spicy and larger than life. You love to have fun, and you are passionate about everything you do. You're definitely a fiery person, and you don't back down from a fight. Most people love your fire - but you can be a bit too intense at times!

What Flavor Gum Are You?

From Jason's Blog

He hasn't posted in a while either....

You Are a Pear

You are independent, intelligent, and a free thinker. You can accomplish great things, especially when you do them on your own. You are direct, honest, and sometimes even a bit brutal. There's not much that gets in the way of you and your ambition. While you are hard nosed, you do have a much sweeter side to you. It takes times for you to soften toward someone, but once you do, you'll be their friend for life.

What Type of Fruit Are You?

Packing & Moving

The trailer is as good as sold, the cash will be in my hands tomorrow. I've got a week to get out, and it's over 80 degrees hot outside. As I'm putting stuff into boxes and containers, preparing it all to get loaded, I'm realizing that I've collected hundreds, possibly thousands of pounds of crap that I do not need. Some of it could be put to good use by other people, some of it I'd rather just toss. It's embarrassing, but the things that I thought I was attached to have so much less meaning these days. Of course, I could just be trying to weasel out of hauling it all around. Either way, it's all got to go!

She's real fine my 409

Or not, since $4.09 was the price of ONE gallon of gasoline today. Absolutely ridiculous, and yet another thing I'll be paying through the nose for once I get another car.

Breaking In

To my own house, that is:
Recently, I found out how easy it is to break into here, when I had to do it out of neccessity... 5 minutes, a Phillips-head screwdriver for 3 screws, and a ladder later, and I was climbing in my own kitchen window over a sinkful of dishes. It was also surprisingly easy to borrow the screwdriver from a neighbor I'd never met before. I'd have thought my dragging the stairs over to the window would've given at least one of the other residents here enough pause to call the police to check out the disturbance, but not so much. Since I'm also kind of skittish about hopping up into windows, I had to stack a 10 gallon paint can on top of a cinderblock, on top of the back stairs that i dragged over, but I managed to make it in... the dog gave me weird looks the whole time i was climbing through.
What amazes me about the whole situation, really, is how willing I've become to do whatever it takes to get things done. Yarimasu, indeed!

Um, sure, why not

Job In Heaven Quiz





Your job in heaven would be :


Watching over new born babies and keeping them safe


Find out what your job in heaven would be at Quizopolis.com

Dancing in the Kitchen

My newest job is waitressing at the Big Boy restaurant on Michigan Avenue at Telegraph in Dearborn, and since I just can't stop myself, when I get a song in my head, I dance around the prep-kitchen area. Also, when I get assigned "The Green" as my end of the night side work area to clean out, and I am able to listen to the satellite radio in there, I dance. When the floor is wet, and I'm on my way to a table to get more coffee or whatever, it looks like I'm dancing, and I might be, sometimes. But it's not all dancing - a lot of what waitressing involves is dealing with people that you can't stand, faking a smile when you want to collapse, and pretending to clean something that isn't dirty in the first place just to have something to do. Of course, I'm still making time to dance around my kitchen at home, because it's not important where you dance, but that you do.

Happy Birthday Brian!

The Frat House Man, The Unquestionable Friend, The Thrower of Parties, The Buyer of Toys, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIAN!!!!
That's pretty much it today, I've got to go into work tonight, I'll write more about that later.

Updating the Advertisement

Last April, I posted a blog titled, "Superhero Seeks Same", detailing the qualities I'm looking for in an ideal guy. Since that post, I've had some indirect responses, yet none of the applicants has fit enough of the requirements for further review or consideration. As a consequence, I am reposting with some updates and changes, but I am in no way lowering my standards... I still want a superhero.

The "Deal-Breakers"
Honest - with me, with himself, about everything at appropriate times, I mean, I don't need to hear a life history all at once, but if I need to know, tell me the truth, it's a lot easier
Physically / Sexually Capable - Pretty easily understood, just keep up
Mentally Stable - I can only deal with so much crazy
Attractive - Everyone has their own standards in this case, and a lot of it is chemistry & first impression, I'm not Miss America, but I'm not a trash heap either
Funny - Fastest way to meet me is to write me a funny story
Loyal - No nonsense here, I'm loyal without question and expect the same
Thoughtful - OK, this is where I don't meet my own standard, but I have hope!
Courteous - Be nice, but you don't have to be a boyscout
Tolerant of Others Less Fortunate - Because you never know what could happen, I mean, ever see Trading Places?
Accept My Parenthood without Interference - Until we're really serious, this isn't an issue, you won't even meet my child, and I'm not out here searching for a step-dad either
Non-Criminal - I have no desire to testify against you, but if pressed, I will, in a heartbeat
Employed - Difficult in this economy, but your bills are not my problem, mine are not yours either
Available - Please clear up any scheduling issues, and for Pete's sake, don't be married
Have some sort of Skill - Chicks dig guys with skills...

Somewhat Negotiable
Witty - I like good conversation, being able to keep one up is cool
Confident / Sociable / Mixes Well With Others - Hope you can keep yourself occupied while I'm not around, or if we're out with a big group of people, don't mope in the corner waiting for me to entertain you
Adventurous - Of course a superhero is adventurous, but sometimes it's nice to spend a night at home with the newest NetFlix
Kind - Nice & Kind is good, but taken too far and it goes to the wimpy side, don't go to the wimpy side
Able to Keep Pets / Plants Alive - Just because I've got a dog doesn't mean you need one, and I'm struggling to keep my plants green... just try not to mess up what I've got going
Civic Minded / Patriotic - Your political views are none of my business, but take them to their logical ends at your own risk
Good Friends / Family Relationships - Again, unless we're pretty serious, I'll probably never meet your relatives, and it's a distinct possibility I won't like some of your friends, but, you won't like some of mine, and my relatives, well... they are who they are

Obviously, I am also Incredibly Cool

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Evidently, I'm Deranged

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

New Job, Old Loves

I'm waitressing, again, and this time, I'm actually kind of good at it. The uniforms aren't awful, the menu isn't huge, and at the restaurant's absolute busiest, I'll only have 6 tables. I can handle this. The good/bad news? I'm working weekend nights, when the most money is out there, but that completely tanks any attempts at a social life. I could lower my standards, but what would be the point? Guys that are open to dating during the week are either unemployed, hiding something, or married, and I'm not going back there again. Speaking of going backwards, when I was talking to someone I dated years ago, let's call him, Mr. Y2K, he reminded me that it can be a bad thing to revisit past relationships. A newer guy has popped back into my life recently, but everything about him is still the same as it ever was, and he's now reminding me more and more why I don't date guys like him. Maybe I need to revisit my "Superhero Seeks Same" post and update who I'm after, any suggestions for constructive changes are welcome!

Why People on this Blog Have Nicknames

Sometimes, it's to protect their privacy, or else it's just amusing to me to come up with them. The nicknames for certain people came about because of the "Mantourage" phenomenon; for a while, through no fault of my own, I was dating or had dated multiple guys named Steve, James, Chris, or Jeff. For one friend of mine, the confusion was so great, she demanded I figure out a way to keep them all separate in conversation. Of course, people like the Pharmeceutically Enhanced Goddess deserve a nickname just on strength of personality. The Caveman, in my opinion, continues to bang rocks together hoping for a spark. Lately, I've been tossing around stories about new people who may or may not be referred to as The Electrical Guitarist, Short Fuse, Theoretical Girl & Hypothetical Boy, etc. I'm still meeting new people, and have met a few that I'd like to get to know much better before I talk about them here. On top of everything else, I'm also looking for a *gasp* day job with more urgency than before. Until I have another story sorted out, I'll continue searching.

Let's Talk About You for a Moment

Yes, I know, this blog is usually about me, but let's talk about you for a moment... several "yous" in fact.
First, those who have offended me:
- You offer me uninformed advice when I don't ask for it. But I smile and listen.
- You ask me to help you out, and I do when I can. But I can't count on you, at all.
- You assume that because you want me, I want you. But I don't.
- You forget about me until I have something you want. But I give anyway.
- You told me we'd always be friends. But I never hear from you anymore.
- You misled me, then told lies about me. But I found out all about you.

Second, those who have surprised me:
- You mean exactly what you say and always tell me the truth. I respect that.
- You helped me out without looking for anything in return. I needed that.
- You love me, although I've made huge mistakes that have hurt you. I love you too.
- You listen to my crap without judging me. I want to return the favor.
- You always cheer me up, even when you're not doing great. I want the best for you.
- You might not have noticed, but you charmed the panties off of me. Do it again.

OK, so it's not "Thank You" by Alannis Morrisette, but it'll do.

Lighter than Earlier, Just a Survey

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Cherry Kool-Aid

Have you ever kissed anyone named Matt?
I beleive I did, at his bachelor party, after he gave me a foot massage, but before the video started playing.

What does your last text message say?
No texts in a few weeks

What was the last song you listened to?
Coward by Rubber Clown Car

If you hated someone and got put in charge of their funeral music, what would it be?
Happy Happy Joy Joy from Ren & Stimpy

What did you do yesterday?
Spent time with Mr. Pants Hat

Would you say I love you and not mean it?
No, nay, never

Pick a scar on your body - what did you do?
Stomach - running with glass soda bottles

How would you describe your best friend in one word?
Unavailable

Last time you were dumped?
It's been a long time, but it still hurt

Who's your most religious friend?
Oddly enough, none of them

Who do you trust with your life?
I don't trust me with my life sometimes, but I trust the Caveman to kill me under certain conditions

If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
I wouldn't, at this time, but that's subject to change

What would you do if someone told you that you were the most beautiful person in the world and they would do anything to wake up to your face each and every morning?
Question their level of inebriation

Do you trust all of your friends?
To some extent, yes

Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
If necessary, yes

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Sure

Name one thing you would NOT tolerate in a relationship?
Beastiality

Which one of your top friends do you think would make the best prostitute?
None of them, thank goodness

Who is the nicest person you know?
Mr. Bad Luck, unfortunately for him

What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
Painted Toenails

If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
I'm not sure I would

Would you make a good parent?
I believe I am

Where was your default picture taken?
The Fat Iguana

Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
Sex and other Indoor Sports

Who knows you the best?
I do

When is the last time you liked someone?
Minutes ago

What are your plans for the weekend?
Sports at the rec center, vegging on the couch watching cartoons & eating Oreos, walking around the neighborhood, and whatever else Mr. Pants Hat wants to do

What are you looking forward to?
Wednesday

What's your favorite saying?
I'm working on a few new ones, since, "Don't Question Me" and "Unacceptable" are getting old

Do you still talk to the last person you kissed?
yes

Have you ever punched a tree?
yes, and it hurt

Have you ever snuck out of your house/someone in your house?
not this current one, however, snuck into my childhood home and snuck someone else in

Morning or night person?
afternoon is when i get rolling

Are you there for your friends?
Without fail

Do you like to spend time with people?
Yes, to my own detriment at times

Are you a forgiving person?
not always

Would you ever share a girl/boyfriend with your best friend?
nope, that's just... awkward

Have you lost a friend recently?
no

Are you talking to someone while doing this? Who?
yes, and it's very distracting

Do you want to be in a relationship right now??
no and yes, at the same time, and on really odd terms

Leading More Than One Life

Those who have known me for a few years are aware of my somewhat bizarre custody arrangement with my ex-husband. No, I'm not talking about his taking over ownership of my cat, but about our having our son for one week each, then switching over on Sundays at 6pm. What this does to my life, and his supposedly, is force a shift in activities and priorities week to week. Finding cool places to go and things to do with my son isn't a problem, this city is packed with kid-friendlyness. The problem lies in what to do during the weeks he's not with me. Have you ever heard the saying, "An idle mind is the devil's workshop"? That's pretty much what goes on - either I spend far too many hours in bed feeling sorry for myself, I engage in flights of fancy (seriously, I've got about a billion frequent flyer miles from those), I make plans to do things that will never be set in motion, or I go out and do non-constructive things in order to numb myself and not feel lost and alone. The worst part is the self-sabotage; not plannin what I have to do, making excuses when things don't happen the way I want, or setting myself up for failure with goals that are way too high in the short term. Writing about this is an attempt to change old behavior patterns and get moving in better directions. Knowing what I'm doing wrong and putting it out in public makes me feel a bit more accountable, even if some of the slightly naughty things I do on my weeks off are enjoyable. The hard part of leading more than one life is choosing what parts of each I want to keep when I finally pull it all together.

I Don't Want To!

I am acting like a spoiled brat, and have been, for quite some time now. Rather than growing up and being the adult that my age and situation demands, I've slacked, I've procrastinated, I've slept, and I've still not escaped the inevitable. No other conclusion than that, just announcing that I've been Scarlett O'Hara-ing my way through things lately, but at least I'm not wearing the curtains as clothes!

My Dog Hates My Laptop

More specifically, my dog hates when I'm working. As soon as I sit down to write, he barks, whines to go out, and makes a nuisance of himself. I've tried to ignore him, pay him a little attention, give him water / food / toys, and then go back to typing, but it seems that he's just not satisfied until I'm on the couch with him next to me. If I am doing other things around the house, he leaves me to it without complaint. My sitting at a desk or table, focused on a screen, however, angers him. At least, that's my excuse this week.

I'm a Bad Neighbor

Proof:
After being here for over six months, I have just now noticed that my dog's favorite spot to poo is located under the next door neighbor's bedroom window. Wonder what that's done for their sex life?

Proof:
I refuse to answer the door to anyone who does not call to let me know they're on the way over. As a consequence, the complex manager is more than a little ticked, and has not fixed the plumbing leak that I paid to have him fix over a month ago, and so the neighbor on the other side is having drain issues on his lawn and is also ticked at me.

Proof:
When I can't quite fill up a full garbage bag, I leave it, shut but not tied outside on the porch. The black bags then warm up and the smell from the contents wafts around until I fill it up, tie it off, and walk it down to the dumpster. I'm sure the neighbors on both sides aren't loving this.

A few questions from Hollywood

Fact about the person u like?
They're breathing

What happened at 10:00 am today?
I killed a wasp in my bathroom

When did you last cry?
Don't remember

What do you want in your life right now?
A cold drink

Something you just don’t understand?
Tax Law

What is the last thing someone bought you?
Can't think of anything recently

Where did you last eat?
Home

Name someone whose name starts with the letter A?
Allison - and I haven't thought of her in years

Who’s the most annoying person in your neighborhood?
Probably me

What were you doing at 8:30PM last Friday night?
Hanging out with my son, watching wrestling

Do you plan on moving in the next year?
at least once

What are you thinking of right now?
Getting productive & going through a ton of paperwork

What did you do today?
Caught up on some websites, a little bit of work

Do you have a job?
Yes

What are you doing right now besides this survey?
Watching Pirates of the Caribbean

What are your plans tomorrow?
Walking to do some errands

Who took your profile picture?
Renee

What is your current problem?
Problem? What problem?

What are you looking forward to in the next week?
Seeing a few people I've been missing, continuing training

Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes, and mended too

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
Continuously

Who is the last person you freaked out on?
Having trouble remembering

Do you like someone right now?
Many people

Why did your parents give you the name you have?
No idea, but I'm glad it's something normal

Who was the last person you yelled at?
Yell? Why would I ever do that?

What is something you say when you are mad?
Shit

Have you ever cried when you’re mad?
No

Four Names you go by:
Tracy, T, Trouble, Mom

Three things you're wearing right now:
Shirt, Shorts, Shoes

Are you currently in a relationship?
No

Who were you last with?
In the SUV with Mama Loca & Mr. Pants Hat

Have you ever been given a rose?
Yes

Say you were in a relationship for 2 years and your boy/girlfriend cheats?
There would be blood

Do you believe everyone has a soul mate?
Several

Your thoughts of online or long distance relationship?
Difficult to maintain

Have you ever seen a friends boyfriend/girlfriend cheating on them?
Yes

Do you believe the statement "love is a battlefield"?
More like a minefield

How many kids do you want to have?
I've got mine already

What is your favorite holiday?
Halloween

Do you think the person you like, likes you back?
Sure, why not

Imagine you're 40 & your spouse just died, would you get re-married?
Not immediately

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you conversed with?
Robert

Where is the last place you went out to eat?
Barbecue food at Scott's

What was the last beverage you consumed?
Tea

Thoughts at this moment?
Random bits of work to get done

Do you bite your lips a lot?
Nope

What is more essential - a pretty face or a great body?
Neither are technically essential, both help make certain situations easier

Medicine, fine arts, law, or military?
All of the above

What do you like on your pizza?
If I have to have it, light sauce, light cheese, chicken & veggies

Favorite drink?
Gave up Mt. Dew, so, at the moment, Tea & Kool Aid with occasional shots, beers, mixers, malt beverages, etc, etc

Do you miss anyone?
When I don't wait for a good shot, yes

What were you doing at 10 PM on Saturday night?
On the phone with Matt who was visiting his family in NJ & going to get him some White Castle

Who do you hate?
Don't really hate

Who was the last person you had in your room?
Robert

Is your room clean?
Nope, in the middle of packing up

Can you speak another language?
Bits of German, Spanish, French and Polish, although at times I struggle with English

What are you going to do tomorrow?
Errands & miscellaneous crap

What is in store for your future?
there's a store?

Who was the last band you saw live and who did you see them with?
7venth Son at DB Coopers with Holly, Michelle, Pat & others

When was the last time you danced?
in the kitchen while making food earlier

When was the last time you purchased something over $500?
it's been quite some time

Favorite color?
Dark blue clearcoat metallic

Who is your favorite person to have a serious conversation with?
Anyone with a serious opinion

Who was driving the last time you were in a car?
Mama Loca

Where do you want to go?
Right now, I'm thinking Alaska might be nice

What are you wearing?
Shirts, Shorts, Shoes

How many tickets do you have?
None, not selling any at the moment

Why are you doing this survey?
Needed material for the blog

Who was the last person to call you?
The Pharmeceutically Enhanced Goddess

What does your twelveth message on your inbox say?
no idea

What are you craving?
Human Contact

Whats the closest red thing to you?
My plastic Captain Morgan glass that I took home from Ernie's

What are you listening to?
George Stroumboulopolous on The Hour

Myspace Bulletin Survey from JanetMuffin

1.Do you sleep with socks on or off?
Off, most of the time

2.Do you flip your pillow to the cold side?
Yes, in the summer

3.Do you like to hold or be held?
Neither, i feel suffocated if someone tries to hold me while i'm sleeping

4.Are you trusting of new people?
Yes and no, depends on their references

5.If your dream was to be a model and a big opportunity came up but you had to be nude , would you do it?
I can't ever imagine my dream in life to be a model, so, probably not

6.What is the most money you would spend on a pair of shoes?
Depends on the shoes

7.If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Crimson

8.Do you have more friends or more acquaintances?
Acquaintances by the truckload

9.If you could win a couple front row tickets to a game, any sport any team??
Lion's Football

10.Would you rather help someone out or be helped out?
Both, but it's easier for me to help, as I have problems asking for help


11.If you found out you couldn't have kids, would you adopt?
If I didn't already have my son, this would be a trickier question, as it is, I would not

12.What woke you up this morning?
The sun

13.Where are you?
Home

14.How was your weekend?
Fun, but frustrating

15.When was the last time you cried?
Can't remember

16.Ever thrown up in public?
Oh, hell yes

17.Passed out because of alcohol?
Passed out, blacked out, been tossed out

18.What is on your mind RIGHT NOW?
Watching "The Riches" tonight, and what will George be wearing on "The Hour"

19.Would you take a bullet for anyone?
Hopefully I'd have the good sense & fast enough reflexes to get them & myself out of the way and then fire back

20.Where would you like to live?
about a mile away from everything

21.What kind of house would you like?
a sprawling ranch house with enough room for my son, my dog, and anyone else who comes along and needs a place

22.What do you want to be when you grow up?
i don't want to grow up

23.Who is your number 1?
My cousin Dale

24.Who was the last person that left you a comment?
Janet, telling me I'm beautiful and getting info on where we're going this weekend

25.last person to text you?
no idea, i've sworn off texting

26.Are you good friends with this person?
i'm good friends with many people

27.How often do you log in to myspace?
daily

28.Do you like candy necklaces?
depends on the candy

29.When was the last time you fell or ran into something?
i'm constantly stubbing toes & hitting my head on things, this place is too small

30.What was the last thing you drank?
grape koolaid

31.Who do you miss?
my son when he's not with me

32.About how many people have you driven with?
many, but most recently, renee

33.What are you doing this weekend?
having fun, i hope

34.Whats your favorite kind of soda?
Mt. Dew

35.Last kiss?
goodbye to my son on sunday

36.Last hug?
goodbye to my son on sunday

37.How many times have you eaten sushi?
several, it's good stuff

38.What do you want to do right now?
set my schedule

39.Are you listening to music right now?
whatever's the song in the movie "The Punisher" as it ends

40.When were you the saddest in your whole life?
can't remember sad right now, still feeling numb

41.What time is it now?
6:55pm

42.Do you think anyone will repost to this?
nope

43.What makes you pissed off?
how i'm treated by someone who should know better

44.What song makes you cry?
none that i can think of right now

45.What do you like to listen to before you go to bed?
slow, steady breathing

46.What makes you happy?
happy people around me

Height?
5'6"

Hair?
Auburny goodness

piercings?
Ears, twice

Tattoos?
a few on my back, plans for a few more

What are you wearing?
A t-shirt and pj pants

What taste is in your mouth?
grape

Do you have a bad habit?
i am often unkind

The New Word for April is Douchebag

According to Michelle, who began using it full-strength on her drive from Texas home to Michigan this past week. She took a bunch of beautiful pictures of her honey Brad & the scenery of the Lone Star State; we're all glad she's back safe & sound. She is, however, now calling people douchebags for infractions in common courtesy or general impolity. Michelle is like the blonde girl from 16 Candles, she's totally gorgeous, has great manners, goes out of her way to be nice to everyone...basically, there's absolutely nothing about her you can cut up, you can't help but want to be her friend. Everyone is now officially on notice: The New Word for April is Douchebag.

I Need to Move

For a number of reasons, and in a few different ways, I need to move. Change is a good thing, and I'd like to think that I'm pretty adaptable to new situations and circumstances. Right now, I feel the need to move my body, as in exercise, after a long winter of not doing much in that vein. There's a 90-Day Train for a 5K plan that I'm hoping to follow, not that I have a particular 5K race in mind, but it seems like an achieveable goal. Moving my mind in new directions also seems appealing, and I've been going to the library for a few months now, checking out books from the New Releases section in order to find what's out there. I don't read a lot of fiction anymore, not because there's nothing edifying out there in that genre, but because I've been concentrating on business building books and more how-to manuals. Oprah's book club is even starting to look appealing, so it must be time for a change in reading habits. Moving house will probably be the most major change, and it's motivated on a few different levels, first being that where I'm living now is no longer dog-friendly, and I refuse to give up Bam. Second, a feeling of "itchy feet" is starting to set in - periodically, getting out of where I am is necessary. In previous living arrangements, I was able to simply move the furniture around, or buy some new object to display to give me a new view. This time, however, a kind of claustrophobia is setting in, and the walls feel far more solid than they are. Taken all together, I need to move, to tear things apart from all sides, inside, outside, upside down.

Hi baby, what's your name?

That is how my telephone conversations begin, from 9am to 1pm, Wednesday through Sunday. My new job as a phone sex operator is neither challenging nor rewarding, but it is occasionally interesting. I'm not sure how ethical it is to describe the nature of the calls, or the callers, or the staff at "the office" that I call into daily that monitor the calls. What I can talk about, is that it is becoming obvious that although this job is mildly amusing and has ample opportunities for shock value, I am not getting any sense of satisfation out of it, and very little monetary compensation. So, to offset the lunacy and derive something out of this experience, here are a few observations:

- Men do not believe it is gay for them to perform fellatio on a transsexual, or to have a transsexual return the favor, however, they are off-put by the phrase "return the favor"
- Phone sex callers are probably not big on cuddling with their real-life partners, my only evidence of this being the speed at which they hang-up the phone post-orgasm
- Some callers really make the phone operators angry, the ones who are already ready already, the ones who speak in voices so low that dogs wouldn't be able to hear them, the ones who want to meet me in person, and the ones who don't bother to describe themselves in flattering detail. I mean, I'm adding & subtracting a few inches here & there, why can't you do the same to give me something to work with?
- My work week begins on Wednesday and ends on Sunday, so when the supervisor asks me on Sunday to stay on for a few more hours, this is the wrong time to ask... it's equivalent to asking Peter to come in on Saturday, and how about you come in on Sunday too...
- The hours I work are not the busiest times of the day, so I am able to get a lot done around the house, which is cool, but, when a caller asks me where I am & what I'm wearing, I'm sorely tempted to respond that I'm in the kitchen, hip deep in dish suds, wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt with food stains... then again, I'm sure some guy out there finds that incredibly sexy
- I love callers that do the work for me. Guys who call in and describe what they want to do to me & ask me if I like it are great, even if they want to go ass to mouth. Sure, yeah, ok, whatever you want baby!
- Certain callers give me the creeps. Like the one who wants to screw the underage next door neighbor girl, or the one who's convinced I'm his soulmate and we should set things on fire together. These kinds of guys that I talk to on the phone are making it really difficult for any guy I meet in person to get anywhere near me.
- I'm not allowed to discuss drugs, pedophilia, necrophilia, bestiality, criminal activities, or give any details that would lead a caller to be able to find and/or contact me. But that leaves a whole range of things that I personally find ... icky. However, the upside of this is that I may be preventing some of these guys from actually going out and doing these things to another human. Unsure if that's exactly how it works or not, but it's something to hold onto in the hopes that it prevents violence or depravity amoung the general population.

This job may pay the bills for a short time, but I'm finding that like any other employment situation that I've ever been in, it's starting to suck my soul out from my nose.

Drunken Survey from JanetMuffin

1) When I get drunk, I like to:
Go home & sleep it off

2) Do you talk about Religion or Deep meaning thoughts?
I try not to do that when I'm sober either

3) Do you Cry?
Lately, I've been half about to, but not because I've been drinking

4) Do you get Angry?
I have, but have to start out that way

5) Do you Vomit?
Oh, hell yes

6) After 7 beers are you drunk?
Yep

7) Your favorite drink is?
A Free One

8) Tequila does what to you?
Makes me feel warm inside

9) Whiskey makes you?
Not do anything I already wasn't planning

10) Who do you drink with?
Whoever's drinking

11) Vodka makes you?
Not do anything I wasn't already planning

12) Do you smoke when you drink?
Nope, but I get tempted

13) On the rocks or straight up?
Rocks, please

14) Do you Pass Out?
Not usually

15) Do you drink girly drinks?
Sure, Vodka tonics with lime are girly drinks, right?

16) Do you drink alone?
No

17) Worst Drink you have ever had?
Don't remember anything too horrible

18) Do you play drinking games?
Nope

19) Drunk Phone Calls to people?
Have done it, not proud

20) Drink and Drive?
When I've had to get home

21) What is your favorite beer?
Guiness

22) What is your favorite mixed drink?
Long Island Iced Tea

23) What is your favorite shot?
Tequila

24) What will you NOT drink?
Acid

25) Are you a lightweight?
Probably more than I'd like to admit

26) Do you like the drinks with the little umbrellas?
Nope

27) Do you ever drink Bacardi Silver
Unsure

28) Do you like frozen drinks?
Nope, I get a head freeze

29) Do you drink liquor straight?
Yep

30) Do you ever drink out of the bottle?
Yep

31) Have you ever had a jagerbomb?
Yes, 3 in one night, puked in my purse

32) Are you drunk right now?
Nope

33) Do you consume more than 2 alcoholic beverages a day?
Not when you average it out, nope

34) Do you drink a lot of wine?
Depends on what is meant by "a lot"

35) When is the last time you drank?
Been a while

36) Have you ever thrown up from drinking?
Yes

37) Ever done a Keg Stand?
Not yet

38) Name someone that will repost this drinking survey?
Can't think of anyone

39) Ever been streaking or did crazy naked stuff while drinking?
Yes, but I do crazy naked stuff sober too

40) Failed any college courses due to alcohol alone?
Nope

41) Ever woken up & said "dude where's my car?
Nope

42) Ever carried someone due to their drunkenness?
Nope

43) Have you ever cleaned up a friends puke?
Nope

44) Puked in a friends car?
Yes, but all post-biological material was contained within my own clothing

45) Ever drank more beers than years?
Nope

46) Ever smash a beer bottle when mad?
Nope

A Poet's Soul....

In a jar, somewhere in my kitchen, buried under boxes of junk....
But he yearns for poetry, and I acquiesce....

Electronic Man

Distance bridged by fickle media
Words fly slowly across the page
Soul and thought fear not the implement
Intellect feels and soon it fails

The planet swings again
Connecting outlets to devices
Phrases form solidly into fact
Life not lived without notice

We strive or we contrive
To wring passion from exchange
Affirmation of opposition
There's no meeting in the meaning



There ya go, fine, I did it, and I guess it didn't kill me. But The Bard is still The Man, and #57 is still killer shit.

Deep Questions from Hollywod

Well, at least that's her myspace nickname!

1. Is it difficult for you to look into someones eyes when you are talking to them?
no

2. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You get enough time to make ONE phone call. Who would you call?
I wouldn't - emergency lines need to be kept clear at times like that

3. You have to choose between your significant other and your best friend, who do you choose?
Neither should ever make me choose, I hate ultimatums

4. You can have one of the following two things: trust or love?
Can't have one without the other

5. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
Call emergency services, as I cannot swim and my trying to save the dog would make it worse

6. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
If I had to stay there, Western Europe, if I could come back, South America

7. Think of the last person who you really knew that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Would you do it?
Nope, the last hour of his life was unbearably painful

8. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
I'd like to think so

9. Does love=sex?
It shouldn't, but to many it does

10. One of your best friends dies, what would you do?
Whatever I was asked and able to do

11. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt?
I don't have a problem with honesty, but I have a problem with feelings, so, a long, long time

12. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you hate them?
Either

13. What do you think would be the worst thing for you to give up on?
Life

14. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?
Sunday

15. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
I don't think it would help

16. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear a noise. What do you do?
Continue doing whatever it was I was doing

17. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?
Nope, I'm not qualified to do it, and might make the situation worse, but I would call for help

18. Are you old-fashioned?
Nope, far from it

19. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heartbreak or to never love?
Already had what I thought was true love, still seeking it, and I've learned I can handle heartbreak

BONUS ROUND!

4 in the morning, your phone rings who do you expect it to be?
I don't expect anyone to call me at that hour, and if they do, I answer, "Who's dead?"

How is life going for you right now?
it's a rollercoaster

Do you like screamo?
no idea what it even is

Who was the last person you talked to on MSN?
dont use it

Last words you spoke?
Can't remember

Have you ever kissed anyone who’s name started with an M?
several

How do you feel about gay marriage?
don't really feel anything about it, think it's just fine

David Blaine?
don't really get too far into magic

Can you play guitar hero?
tried to at Brian's on New Year's Eve... or was it RockBand?

Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
warm

Do you "play" outside?
yes, weather permitting

What do you currently hear right now?
watching Constantine

What do you think your best friends are doing right now?
all kinds of things

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
was 28 at the time

Would you rather watch football or baseball?
football

Where is your number one person on your friends list?
probably working

Do you feel like dancing?
Yes!

How much money do you have on you?
none physically stuck to me, probably over $20 in my wallet

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn’t be?
Nope

Do you speak another language other than English?
I speak a little bit of a few

What made you happy today?
Waking up

Where is your girlfriend/boyfriend?
out there, somewhere

What did you do today?
not nearly enough

Who is the first person you think of when someone asks you who you like?
Him

Did you date anyone this past summer?
Not "date" really, no

Who was the last friend in your house?
Sherri

How’s your ex doing?
Just fine without me, apparently

Is there someone you want to fight?
Yes, but I'd get hurt

What color shirt were you wearing when your last kiss took place?
No idea

Song playing right now?
no music, just movie

Does anyone like you?
Many people

What are you thinking about right now?
Posting this

What’s your middle name?
Which one?

What were you doing an hour ago?
Nothing of any particular import

What does your last message in your inbox say?
No idea, haven't checked for a bit

Do you secretly like someone?
Yes

Where were you friday night?
home

Do you wear the seatbelt in the car?
yes, always

Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else?
Yes

Next vacation you’re going on?
I don't really get vacations

Do you have any piercings?
ears twice

What’s something you really want right now, be honest?
An Appointment

Do you like to text or call more?
call

What’s the closest blue object to you?
pants, about 10 feet away

Is there anyone you hate?
nope

Are you single?
yes

Do you like the color orange?
love my orange shoes

Where was your last long road trip to?
upper middle michigan

Sometimes, do you wish you were someone else?
nope

Who is your favorite person to kiss?
difficult to say, couple good kissers out there

Would you kiss them again?
heck yeah

What is the weather like today?
windy & cold

Worst job you have ever had?
I've had several awful ones

Was your last kiss drunk or sober?
sober

Why did your last relationship end?
we weren't in love

Who did you last talk to on the phone for over 20 minutes?
Renee

Where will you be in an hour?
at home, possibly asleep

Warning Label

So, I was talking with the Pharmaceutically Enhanced Goddess the other day and she laughingly suggested that I need a warning label, something to let strangers know exactly what's in store if they approach me. A few of the items she recommended, and a few I came up with on my own are:

- Handle with care, potentially flammable
- Not to be operated by anyone under the age of 30
- Do not attempt to engage this device while under the influence
- Makes frequent, sudden stops, turns, and bounces
- Changes Opinions and Clothes faster than intended
- Dangerous Curves
- Occasionlly Exceeds Tolerances to Alcohol, Caffeine, and BS

I'm sure there are more signs that people wish they'd seen displayed, feel free to add a few of your own.

Tenkiyasen

Last week one of my neighbors inquired of me, "Is it cold enough for you?", an appropriate question, as I was outside with the dog in my pajama bottoms and t-shirt, a pair of flip-flops on my feet, no coat, and it was windy and cold. This same neighbor, today, asked, "Is it hot enough for you?", again, completely appropriate, for the same exact outfit, but a different temperature, in the mid-50's and sunny. I LOVE Michigan, the weather changes faster than my mood.

Don't do this

Last night I had far too much tequila and did something I probably shouldn't have: I drunk texted. This does not come as a shock, as I have drunk dialed, I have drunk emailed, etc. What is different this time is that instead of falling asleep after the drunk texting, I sat up a while and thought about what I'd talked about. I can't remember much of what I dreamt about later on, but I keep having flashes of an image of myself walking down a street waving a peace sign hello at... someone. Weird.

Manual Transmissions and Real Friends

Yay! New Skill!
Well, ok, not new, but since I hadn't driven a stick-shift vehicle in about 10 years, I got to re-learn how to do it. In a red Ford Escort, with over 105,000 miles on it, belonging to Brian, who lent it to me for a couple days. When people tell jokes about how you can tell a friend from a real friend, I've finally figured out the distinction that sets Brian apart: a real friend will lend you their car for two days on an hour's notice, no questions asked. The point is not why I didn't have my own vehicle, but that I'm lucky enough to have real friends. So now, I'll be buying another friend's car, getting it out of his driveway, getting me some hot new wheels... I think I'll look pretty good in it too.

Being "Less Than"

A while back I stumbled into a phrase that explains a lot, quickly, when I use it as an internal editor, and whenever I introduce someone else to it, they seem to understand exactly what I mean: Less Than. It's become something more than what it started as, and now I'm putting it out there to see if anyone else gets it.

I have been made to feel Less Than someone else, and it sucks, so I try not to make other people feel that way.

I have given Less Than my best effort, and I failed, miserably, so I try harder the next time I'm given an opportunity.

Tonight for work, I sat in on a conference call, more like an hour an a half talk by a life coach, and a lot of what she said was the usual drivel that anyone who's sat through any motivational speaker could parrot back. There were a few challenges and comments that stuck out, however, about attitude, discipline, accountability, and getting out of your own way. What this all had to do with the Less Than thing was this: in every area where I've been giving Less Than, I've been getting Less Than. In relationships where I've been Less Than 100% in, I've been Less Than loved. In my work, where I've done Less Than what I could do, I've been Less Than successful. My crappy attitude, lack of discipline, no sense of accountability, and generally being my own worst enemy has gotten me Less Than what I want. Time to change all this? I'll keep you informed...

Brian says Work Really Sucks Today

So he did a myspace bulletin, and I'm ripping it off.

Do you tend to rip the paper off water bottles? No
If the mob was after you, what would you do? Probably whatever they want
When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep? Yes
If you were given the chance to take care of a monkey for a weekend, would you? No
What are you looking forward to in the next few months? Warmer weather, buying a house
When will you turn 18? Next lifetime.
If you were being chased by an alligator, what would you do? Scream
How many pillows are on your bed? Two
What song are you currently listening to? None
Have you ever passed out from drinking? Yes
If you caught a significant other cheating on you what would you do? Take pictures
What time did you wake up this morning? 9:00am
Do you have any cousins? Yes
Can you imagine yourself living in a cardboard box? No
Who was the last person you talked to? Sherri
What is the WORST subject they teach at school? No idea
Where do you plan on living when you grow up? Don't plan on growing up
What was your dream this morning? Get work done
How many times have you seen your favorite movie? At least 50 times
Where was the last place you traveled? I think Ohio, could be wrong
How was your past weekend? Decent
If puppies stayed small forever, would you buy one? No
What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Rocky Road
Ever liked someone that you didn't think you stood a chance with? Yes
Is someone on your mind right now? Yes
Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes
Would you ever change for a boy/girl? No
Pro-life or Pro-choice? Choice. This IS America.
Have you ever been on stage? Yes
Can you whistle? No
Would you do anything for that special someone? Yes
Do you know who Stewie Griffin is? Yes
Can you say you've never cheated in a relationship? Yes
Do you hangout with more guys or girls? Why? Both, have lots of friends
Have you ever thought a friend could be more than a friend? Yes, and I was wrong
Do you like the beach? Yes
What color is your toothbrush? White & Red
What makes you laugh? Everything
Are you ticklish? Yes
Have you ever been in a hotel room with your friends/opposite sex? Yes
If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say? Fuck You!
Do you trust all of your friends? Not anymore
Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love? Yes
Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes
Can you make a dollar in change right now? Yes
Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor? Depends on what specialty
Are you afraid of falling in love? Not afraid, just resistant
Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? Yes
Whats your most favorite scar? Too many scars, no favorites
When was the last time you flew in a plane? Vegas Trip last year
What did the last text message you sent say? Can't remember
What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex? Appearance, Intelligence, Sense of Humor, Attitude
Fill in the blank. I love: myself today
What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future? Pay off debt
If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
All the people that mattered would already be there.
How many kids do you want to have? Already have all I want
Would you make a good parent? Already am
Where was your default picture taken? the Fat Iguana
Whats your middle name? after my great-grandmother
Honestly, whats on your mind right now? I should be working
If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be? Nothing
Who was or will be the maid of honor/ best man in your wedding? Kerry was, don't think it'll happen again
What are you wearing right now? Sweat pants & t-shirt
Righty or Lefty? Righty.
Best place to eat? Home
Favorite jeans? Safety pinned ones, still need artwork for the right leg
Favorite animal? Polar Bear
Favorite juice? Pear
Have you had the chicken pox? Twice
Have you had a sore throat? Yes
Ever had a bar fight? Yes
Who knows you the best? Me
Shoe size? 7.5
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? Both
Ever been in a fight with your pet? No
Been to Mexico? No
Did you buy something today? No
Did you get sick today? No
Do you miss someone today? No
Did you get in a fight with someone today? No
When is the last time you had a massage? Can't remember
Last person to lay in your bed? Me
Last person to see you cry? Don't really do that
Who made you cry? See above
What was the last TV show you watched? The news is on now
What are your plans for the weekend? Going out somewhere, hanging with friends, working, killing time
Who do you think will repost this? No one
Who was the last person you hung out with? Robert
If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say? No

Cell Phone Survey

Because I've been on myspace already this morning, and can't face sorting through every other blog idea I have right now...

1. What is your current ringtone? something that came with the phone
2. What is your current wallpaper? photo I took of fireworks
3. Do you own a picture phone? yes
4. If so, what was the last picture you took? probably the inside of my purse, happens a lot
5. Go to your text message inbox and type what the 10th message says. Nothing, i've deleted them all
6. How many contacts do you have on your phone? 236
7. Go to your last missed call, who was it? Unknown, I don't answer those
8. What service do you have? AT&T
9. At this very moment, how many bars do you have for your service? 2
10. Who's on your speed dial number 5? Don't use it
11. Do you have a voicemail? yes
12. How many contacts that start with the letter D do you have: 18
13. Who do you call the most? no idea, i'm always on the phone
14. How many text messages do you get a month? less than 10
15. Can you send pictures? yes, but I don't
16. What are the last 4 digits to your number? dunno, never call myself
17. Go to your sent texts, what does the eighth one say? nothing, all deleted
18. What about the 15th? same as above
19. Who's the last person that you called? Dale
20. Last person you added to your address book? no idea, probably some guy at a bar
21. How many minutes are on your plan? 1500
22. Do you like your phone? it suffices
23. What is it? Samsung
24. Wanna give out your number? No, but I have to all the time